Oh What A Beautiful Morning

I stumbled out of the bed this morning and to the back door to peek out at the weather. When I pulled back the curtain I saw not only our newly-resident mommy robin sitting on her nest, but also a little squirrel munching away at some of last year's wildflower seeds I had left out with the rest of the gardening supplies.

Cute!!

SMS Fun Time

I received the following two text messages today, almost concurrently but from entirely different people.

#1: "Hugs. You are the delight of my life, and I love you so much."

#2: "Puking yet?"

It made me laugh.

Approximate Summer Concert Attendance Schedule

As it currently stands:

May 2: Das Llamas @ Sunset Tavern
May 3: Pleasureboaters/Cryptacize/Vampire Hands/Pwrfl Power @The Vera Project
May 15: Erin McKeown @ Tractor Tavern
May 20: Mudhoney @ Easy Street Records
May 24: Sasquatch Festival (REM, The National, Modest Mouse, The Breeders......)
June 14: Summercamp II (Flogging Molly, Pennywise, Nada Surf, MGMT and Armor For Sleep)
June 29: Constantines @ Neumos
July 12 & 13: Sub Pop 20th Anniversary Festival
July 19: Red Elvises @ Tractor
July 25 & 26: Capitol Hill Block Party (Vampire Weekend headlines)
August 26: Oasis & Ryan Adams @ WaMu Theater
August 29-31: PAX and Bumbershoot Festival

My point? I'm going to be really freaking broke... but I'm really freaking excited.

The Dark Secrets Of Home Ownership

You will like it. You will want to make it look nice. You will look over one day and notice that your baseboards are dirty, and you will VOLUNTARILY clean them. You will begin to LIKE YOUR VACUUM.

Your dog still won't, though.

Reading My RSS Feeds

The internet: increasing by orders of magnitude the amount of useless information crap we have to filter out of our lives.

Stuff I Am Guilty Of

So I was recently introduced, by my friend Sean, to the blog "Stuff White People Like" - the blog "devoted to stuff that white people like." Ayup. Though the name makes one raise an eyebrow, it's actually funny and often well-observed social commentary, and if you're white, and ever for a moment thought that you WEREN'T a ridiculous, pseudo-intellectual prat, I encourage you to go read for a bit, and be humbled.

Anyhow, as Sean and I were laughing over the blog, he suggested that an amusing - if self-deprecating - hour or two could be passed by listing all of the entries that apply to oneself. Always eager to knock myself down a few levels, I gave it a go, and below I present the highlights.

***

Stuff Brittney Likes

#84 - T-Shirts

The most prized t-shirt category is vintage.... The ideal shirt will have a funny logo, a year attached to it, and will be as thin as rice paper. In the event that two white people have shirts that meet this criteria, the superior ranking is given to the person who paid the least for the shirt.

#26 - Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)

If you are in group setting and the topic of New York City comes up, find the highest ranking white person and say 'oh, are you from New York?' To them, this means you are calling them cultured, cool, and urban. They will respond with something like 'oh, well, I’ve spent a lot of time there,' or 'I lived there for three years.' You will have instantly become more popular than all other people in the group.

#19 - Traveling

Upon returning home, they will... find an affinity for a particular beer or liquor from a country they visited. They use this as an excuse to mention their travels when at a bar. “Oh, I’ll have a Czechznlishiyush Pilsner. You see, that was my favorite beer when I was travelling through Slovenia and the Czech republic.”

#64 - Recycling

If you are in a situation where a white person produces an empty bottle, watch their actions. They will first say “where’s the recycling?” If you say “we don’t recycle,” prepare for some awkwardness. They will make a move to throw the bottle away, they will hesitate, and then ultimately throw the bottle away. But after they return look in their eyes. All they can see is the bottle lasting forever in a landfill, trapping small animals. It will eat at them for days, at this point you should say “I’m just kidding, the recycling is under the sink. Can you fish out that bottle?” And they will do it 100% of the time!

#15 - Yoga

It gives white people the chance to showcase their $80 pants.

#75 - Threatening to Move to Canada

Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now.

***

So there you have it, the highlights of my whitey Hall of Shame. Before you go, though, I would like to add that it is not just me; I have come to the conclusion while reading this blog that, omg, Seattle is the whitest city in the ENTIRE WORLD. So it's clearly not my fault.

Ever get fixated on a certain song?

I do it all the time. Here's the latest:

Shit. It's got me again.

Winter.

I told my shrink yesterday I was fine. Today I realized that that may not be strictly true.
I have no desire to leave the house.
I have no desire to keep the house that I never leave clean.
I pretty much don't give a fuck about almost anything.
I'm tired of being cold.
I'm tired of sleeping til noon when I don't mean to.
I'm tired of being emotional.
I'm tired of being needy.
I want ME back.

I guess the reason I'm writing this is to say:
Look out for me, and be gentle with me.

Winter sucks.

But I guess, in a way, it's good to know that I'm not the only person that February's getting down.

Epiphanies

Sometimes the questions become suddenly clear, even if the answers don't: if I'm not happy with the direction my life is pointing right now, why not? And what am I going to do about it?

Five Cool Things I Got At Goodwill Yesterday

1) A purple and gold apron

2) A butterfly costume

3) A vintage trenchcoat

4) A little stripey cape

5) A human-sized Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shell

Dear Seattle Music Fans

A few... "suggestions" for you.

1) Clap for the opening bands. They're giving you their %*@$ing all. Appreciate it.

2) Don't laugh at the people rocking out up front. The fact that we're having more fun than you makes US superior, not you.

3) If you get a chance to see The Cops play, take it.

Things That Have Annoyed Me Today.

Subject to later additions.

1) The dog got into the trash. Again.

2) I expressed concern for someone, only to realize they were apparently uninterested in my concern.

3) The Daily Ink Entry I wrote took me about four times as long to put together as I expected. (I like the finished product, though.)

4) Someone commented on one of my self portraits, "awesome detail on the pores." To a woman, this is NOT A COMPLIMENT.

5) A friend of mine wrote me, via Facebook, to ask if I was married yet. Not only have I been married for over a year, but it says ON MY FACEBOOK PROFILE that I'm married.

6) I'm sucking really really bad at Facebook hangman. http://divergirl.net/mt/mt.cgi?__mode=view&_type=entry&id=354&blog_id=5 « Previous

New Year's Frustrations

The thing is, generally, I don't get sick. I'm not sure how much of it is due to a healthy immune system and how much to stubbornness, but whatever the reasoning behind them, the facts stand like this: In the past six years, I've only missed two days of work due to being sick, and until this week I hadn't been sick for multiple days since my senior year of high school, 1999.

Until this week.

Saturday morning I woke up with nasty sinus pain, but pushed through it and carried on with the plans I had for the day: watching the Seahawks game, then dinner with a friend. After that we went to a bar, then played some video games, and I got home early Sunday morning, by which time I wasn't sure if I was going to make it from my front door to the bedroom downstairs without passing out. From Sunday until this afternoon, I basically rotated between the bed and the couch, with occasional trips upstairs to refill my water bottle. I'm not sure what I've had - I've been calling it the Mongolian Death Cold - but it was nasty.

Anyway, the point is not that I've been sick. The point is that being sick has postponed my other plans, most of which fall under the broad heading of my New Year's Resolution: "Get My Shit Together." I am tired of feeling cluttered and confused and swamped. I want to finish organizing my office. I want to get back on a regular blogging schedule at Utata.org. I want to take more photos for the zoo, and for myself. But just when I've finally found the motivation and created the plans to do all this, I've been stuck lying around on the couch. It's REEEALLLY frustrating.

I've been feeling mostly better today, so we'll see how tomorrow goes - I have to take Spencer for his vet checkup, which will be amusing, because I've lost my voice. It'll be a good chance to get out of the house though, and it'll be something crossed off my to-do list when I'm done. Plus, feeling better will let me start taking my Adderall again, which will hopefully help me get things done, too. I guess New Year's Day is somewhat of an arbitrary time to make changes anyway, right? We'll just call tomorrow, maybe, New Year's Day (Observed).

Burnt Out Like A Jack-O-Lantern On November First

I went to Safeway tonight, and turning between the baking aisle and the cereal aisle I passed several shelves full of Halloween candy. "Oh!" I thought. "We might have trick-or-treaters this year -- I should get some candy." Then I remembered that Halloween is approximately SEVEN WEEKS AWAY. And at this rate, I'll probably be completely sick of it by the time it actually comes.

I won't be sick of candy corn, though.

Seattle Weather

It's supposed to break 90 and people are panicking. I guess this is sort of like when people laugh at Nashvillians for closing schools when it snows an inch.

Random Fact

At the moment, I have ninety-one shirts in my closet. This does not count Benn's shirts, my dresses, or any jackets, and it does not include shirts that are in the laundry, or the majority of my tank tops, which live in a drawer. I like clothes.